Chapter Four: The School That Never Taught
7:55 P.M. ON SEPTEMBER 28 OF 2009 HOMEROOM
"LINOLEUM!" Knuckles screamed like an idiot. Nick sighed in annoyance as he saw Knuckles rubbing his shoes across the floor, laughing like an idiot over the squeaky noise his shoes made. Shadow was sitting in his seat, eyes shut, and obviously annoyed. Sonic was just lying against the wall in the back of the room next to Shadow, watching Knuckles make a fool of himself. Rouge was sitting on Shadow's desk, twirling around her white hair in her fingers while she watched Knuckles. Amy herself was just embarrassed to be in public with Knuckles acting like this. It wasn't long until Knuckles crashed into a wall, giving everyone in the classroom a good chance to laugh at him. This angered Knuckles quickly.
"What are you all laughing at!" Knuckles shouted. This only made everyone laugh harder. Knuckles then got angry and punched one of the students laughing at Knuckles. It would've been alright, had the student not have been punched out of his chair and straight into a cluster of other students as well. The teacher of the homeroom saw this, then went back to doing her paperwork.
"Um…aren't you going to punish Knuckles or something? Fighting's not allowed in school," Nick pointed out. The teacher just looked up.
"Yeah, well guess what? I break my back for you students only to be paid minimum wage, and I'm always stuck here for overtime or on in-service days. I really don't care anymore," the teacher replied angrily. Knuckles's eyes just lit up.
"THAT MEANS PUNCHY-PUNCHY!" Knuckles shouted in glee, before beating down the cluster of students laughing at Knuckles previously. The only students who weren't being beat up were two boys; one of which was short with curly, brown hair and glasses, with the other one being tall with flat, brown hair. Both of them were sitting in their seats, watching the chaos unfold. The tall one turned to Nick.
"Nick, I've known you for a while, but this is just insanity. What's going on?" the tall kid asked. The short kid also turned to Nick.
"I haven't seen anything this chaotic since that incident with the pie last year in Home Ec…" the short kid thought, shuddering at the mention of it. Nick just sighed.
"It wasn't MY fault that happened…anyway, Stephon, Matt, I'd like you to meet Sonic, Knuckles, Amy, Shadow, and Rouge," Nick introduced. Stephon, the tall kid, and Matt, the shorter one, just looked at each other.
"Nick, how much have you-?" Stephon began. Since Nick already predicted what he was going to say, Nick just ended the question for him.
"…yeah, yeah, yeah, fanfictions. Whatever," Nick grumbled. Stephon and Matt just shook their heads, conveniently missing various pieces of jewelry and earrings that were being punched off of the cluster of kids as we speak. At that point, Knuckles got tired of this and left the mess of badly-beaten up students to hang out with his friends.
"Okay, so what's next?" Knuckles asked.
"Well, since you guys don't have your own specific schedules…I guess you could just follow me around all day to get some idea on where the classes are held in the school," Nick offered.
"Fine, like we have anything else better to do," Shadow concluded. Shadow and the gang began to head outside homeroom, but Nick got in front of them and stopped them.
"Hold on guys! You don't even know where my first class is!" Nick explained. "In fact, where's Tails?"
"He's 8, you idiot. You'd think he'd be allowed in high school?" Shadow sighed.
"But Amy's 12 and she's here…" Nick pointed out. Stephon then spoke up.
"What about Scarie-Ann? She's 16 and she's a Freshman," Stephon pointed out.
"Yeah, so are you, Stephon," Nick explained. "Besides, why does everyone call her that? I don't ever see her scare anyone…"
It was of no surprise when she walked in the room, scaring Nick by talking in her high-pitched squeaky mouse voice. It was also of no surprise when Nick someone ended up as…ahem, "one with the light fixtures." Nick's voice was garbled, but everyone could make out some words.
"This…changes…nothing…" Nick tried to say. Scarie-Ann then huffed and walked off, arms crossed. If anyone could see Nick's head, they would've seen a light bulb appear above his head. Of course, Stephon and Matt knew that light bulb appeared above Nick's head when it crashed down on his head and shattered.
"OW! SONOFABALONEYSANDWICH!" Nick screamed, before SOMEHOW getting his right arm inside the ceiling. Nick then started fiddling around with some wires, and he managed to turn off all the lights in his homeroom. Of course, this sent most everyone into a frenzy (including the heavily-injured kids, although they were just half-scared, half-moaning in pain). The only exceptions to the people in a frenzy were Shadow, Rouge, Stephon, and Matt. Along with the other, uninjured kids, Sonic was running around, although he was trying to avoid Amy, who was madly chasing him down using her powers of scent (and by that, we meant she sprayed him with TAG before he woke up this morning.) Knuckles thought the world's balance got flipped or something, so that might explain why he was trying to smack his skull through the hard linoleum floor to mimic an ostrich…a retarded ostrich at that. Of course, eventually, one student FINALLY noticed that the lights to the halls outside were still on, and they could use that as a way to escape. One student ran up to the door, but Nick used his extremely long legs (this is a fact about his height; he is probably a foot and a half taller than the Sonic cast) to lock the door. The student tried to open the now-locked door, but it was comically to no avail. While the kid sulked, Nick kicked him in the back of the head, sending the kid facefirst into the door. The kid screamed in terror.
"OH MY GOD! SOMETHING JUST KICKED MY HEAD!" the student screamed, before being kicked in the face and sent sprawling into a desk. Above the ceiling, Nick held back his laughter. Another student then spoke up.
"Shut up, Jerry! You're just a midget! You always get kicked in the back of the head!" the second student responded before walking up to the door. Nick raised his feet and waited for the perfect moment. The new student jiggled the handle, also finding it locked. He turned around, the back of his head at a perfect angel for Nick's kicking distance.
"See? We're only locked in here!" the second student pointed out, before being kicked in the back of the head. Unlike Jerry, this student flipped probably twice before coming to rest on the spot where Knuckles was bashing his head in. Knuckles, oblivious to even the biggest change, kept smashing his head into the ground, also through the student as well. Nick then got another idea. He got his left hand above the ceiling as well, messed with some more wires, and turned on the television's audio in the room. Then, he messed with a third wire, except this time the speakers for the school came on. Nick then screamed as loud as he could into the speakers, effectively scaring the crap out of everyone else in the building. Nick moved that speaker line out of the way, then he got a final line that led to a microphone. As there was somehow a microphone in the ceiling of a school, no one sane would know. Nick then realized what this microphone was.
"…sigh…I TOLD Steve and the others the Chinese were watching my every movement! How else could they've stolen my first fanfictions ideas so quickly?" Nick mentioned, referencing the time he found out that someone had put on a Xiaolin Showdown fanfiction that crossed over with Big Brother contestants in the past before he put it on. Of course, the odds of this happening were a million-to-one, let alone Nick's conspiracy theory, but he kept it otherwise. Hampering with the microphone, Nick spoke into it, making his voice come out of the television.
"Oooooh…." Nick began. Everyone screamed and tried to huddle away from the television, effectively bunching up into a pile of bodies (all sans the sane people, of course.)
"What do you want from us?" Jerry screamed. In a background voice, one could hear someone yell to another student "GARY GET YOUR FOOT OFF OF MY CROTCH NOW!"
Nick the television then began to moan more, before the lights turned on fully and Nick's head burst from the TV set itself.
"I WANT YOU ALL TO TASTE THE POWER-PACKED TASTE OF SUNNY D!" Nick screamed, throwing bottles of Sunny D at the terrified students, which exploded like bottle rockets when doing so, giving off the smoke for some strange reason. At that moment, the principal of the school broke open the locked door, obviously infuriated.
"What in the name of blazes is going on here!" the principal yelled. This was answered when he saw a pile of beaten-up students in one corner, a pile of scared students in another, many messed up desks, a broken television with Nick's head sticking out of it, a broken light with Nick's feet dangling out of it, and so on.
"Who is responsible for this!" the principal yelled. Knuckles stopped banging his head on the ground for a split second ("I blame the aardvarcks," Knuckles accused in that split second) before bashing his head down on the now badly-beaten student. Between gasps of pain, the student pointed out Nick as the culprit. At that moment, Nick dropped down from the ceiling, and he also fell out from the television. Shadow dropped his jaw as he now saw that there were TWO Nicks! The principal was also confused as well.
"How do we solve this? Who do I punish?" the principal asked. ("GARY I AM REALLY STARTING TO GET AGGRAVTED WITH YOUR FOOT ON MY GENITALIA AREA THAT MY FUTURE CHILDREN WILL BE EJECTED OUT OF!)
"Punish both of them," Matt encouraged. The principal shook his head.
"No, if we punished both of them, we might harm someone innocent," the principal explained.
"THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME PERSON!" Shadow screamed, losing his calm from this sheer stupidity.
"Actually," the Nick that fell out of the TV began, "one of us is fake. But which one is it?"
"Um…" the principal began. Both Nicks silenced him as they both randomly pulled out freshly-baked pies…yes, pies.
"What would pie do?" the principal asked. Matt and Stephon grew wide-eyed as they remembered the home ec incident last year. They shuddered at the very disturbing and mind-numbing events that happened that fateful day. ("GARY I AM STARTING TO GET AGGRAVATED BY YOUR FOOT STEPPING INBETWEEN MY PANTS!")
"Simple," the Nick that fell out of the TV began. "Ask me the secret ingredient for the pie."
"Okay…what's the secret ingredient?" the principal asked. This was answered when the Kool-Aid man burst out from the pie, screaming "OH, YEAH!" as he did so.
"Okay, that's a fake Nick," Matt concluded.
"Still, just to be safe, what's YOUR secret ingredient?" the principal asked the other Nick. Stephon and Matt hid underneath the cluster of k.o.'d students to be safe. Out of the second pie came a demonic Furby that lit on fire and chased the principal out of the room and down the hallway. Then both Nicks exploded. Everyone was staring at where the destroyed Nick's once stood. Then, a THIRD Nick walked in from the doors leading to the hallway, smile on his face.
"Hey, guys? Was I just here?" Nick asked stupidly. Shadow then proceeded to shoot himself, but all he could find was a bubble gum wrapper and an eraser. Shadow gave up hope at that moment.
"But…you just…what…?" Shadow stuttered. Nick just lifted an eyebrow.
"Um, well, sorry I'm late. Bus difficulties and stuff…" Nick explained, signing himself into homeroom as he did so, OBLIVIOUS TO THE SHEER TORMENT AND CHAOS THAT HAS SO OBVIOUSLY HAPPENED THREE SECONDS AGO! Shadow then walked up to Nick.
"Ok, if you're the real Nick, and I mean the REAL Nick, you will make a pie and I will ask you the secret ingrident," Shadow demanded. Nick just shrugged and he pulled out a pie.
"So, what's the secret ingrident?" Shadow asked. As if on cue (it probably was), Dr. Octangonapus burst out of the pie.
"DR. OCTAGONAPUS BLAAAAAAARGH!" Dr. Octagonapus screamed, firing a Shoop Da Whoop that blew a giant hole the size of the room out of the school. Silence is heard, all except for Dr. Octangonapus leaving very fast.
"GARY PLEASE STOP STEPPING ON MY PENIS!" the student screamed.
"SHUT UP PHIL! YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT!" Gary retorted.
Meanwhile at SEGA HQ, the executives of BioWare have been trying to break into a secret entrance on the roof of the headquarters itself. Unfortunately, they have been having constant problems with opening the door with their tools. One executive scratched his head.
"It's no use, sir," the executive gave up. "I don't think a broken screwdriver, a mechanical pencil, a half-eaten sandwich, and a rusty banana peel can open this door. Wait, how'd a banana peel go rusty…?"
The boss just sighed. "Fine, I'll just do my Kool-Aid impression…"
It was of no surprise when the boss didn't break down the door, but instead ended up just smacking his face into the unmoving door. "Why didn't it work!" the boss shouted.
"Because you didn't BELEIVEEEEE!" another executive answered. Said executive was smacked upside the head with aforementioned half-eaten sandwich. A third executive opened the door like a normal person.
"Idiots. Can you think to use logic for once?" the third executive sighed. The other five executives and the boss all did a facepalm.
"Hey, wait. How'd we get up here?" the fourth executive wondered. This was answered with the boss looking at the camera while some time paradox music played in the background…you know, the one that goes 'DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNNN!' Unfortunaylt for our BioWare friends, the camera the boss was looking into was a security camera for SEGA. One security guard saw them, and turned to another security guard.
"Ok, which defense do we activate first?" the security guard asked.
"Well, we have as many defenses as the Sonic Cast has characters, so let's go in alphabetical order," the second guard offered.
"Eh, alright. SEGA Defense Amadeus activate…wait, what the…who's he…or she?" the first guard began.
"No idea. I think we included the Archie comic adaption characters in here," the second guard explained.
Shadow just sighed as he saw the pathetic situation presenting itself in front of him. Sonic was acting overly childish because the teacher mentioned WATERcolor paint. Amy has using her hammer to create a paint collage, which would've been okay if Amy wasn't banging her hammer down on the canvas with such a strength it would've broke the canvas in half had it not been for the table beneath. Knuckles was still upstairs in Homeroom, slowly banging his head through the floor, creating a rhythmic beat that was oddly catchy. Shadow smirked when he noticed at least Rouge, Nick, and Alex were being normal. Rouge turned to Shadow, and winked back at him. Alex then turned to Nick.
"Hey, Nick. What does this look like to you?" Alex asked, holding up his portrait to Nick. Nick examined it carefully.
"It strangely reminds me of ice cream…" Nick noted, before going back to carefully detailing his own. Alex stared at his portrait.
"It's supposed to be rocks…" Alex pointed out, before looking at Nick's portrait and seeing an intricate designed tree with leaves. Other than that, the canvas was blank, minus some scratchy pencil lines here and there. Sonic, of course, ran into a door before Nick could think of anything else, and he decided to put away his portrait for the day. Some cement crumbs fell on Nick's head, and he looked up and finally saw Knuckles break through the ceiling, smiling.
"Hey, guys!" Knuckles said, before falling through the floor and landing on Alex. Nick just did a facepalm.
Sonic was shaking in his seat, hoping Amy couldn't get him from across the room. Amy was sitting behind Nick, as per the teacher's orders, and she was making very seductive faces at Sonic. Nick just looked bored, and he seemed to be writing notes about for an exam next week. Knuckles was off at the nurse, surprisingly not for brain damage or head-related injuries, but because he stubbed his toe when he landed on Alex in Art Class. Steven, in this class with Nick, sat at the front of the room, looking even more bored than before the putt-putt began on Saturday. Shadow and Rouge were in the back, both of them looking as cool as they could be, which seemed to be working.
"Ok, students, now who can describe the story "The Lady, Or The Tiger?" with adjectives you feel would work?" the teacher asked.
"Indesicive," Nick started.
"Boring," Shadow concluded.
"Half-and-half," Rouge said half-heartedly.
"Not cool," Sonic added.
"Bad," Amy included.
"Unentertaining," Jerry said.
"Wasteful," Gary added.
"GAY!" Steven shouted, making everyone turn to him. Steven just looked back, bored. "What, like you really care?"
Sonic was shaking in anger and fear because of the teacher. Sonic had been given a difficult math problem ("I didn't know 2+2, 2 TIMES 2, and 2 to the second power has the same answer!" Sonic explained), and because of his utter failure to comprehend it, he had been assigned Amy as a math tutor.
"Don't worry too much, Sonic," Amy whispered in his ear, sitting on his lap. No one noticed since Sonic was assigned a seat in the back corner, away from the blackboards. "My tutoring can be fun…"
Shadow and Rouge were doing okay with the math problems assigned to them, although they could do without Nick and Steven's bickering.
"Nick, just put the dots on the paper!" Steven muttered.
"Look, I'm asking you WHERE?" Nick continued.
"It's not that hard, Nick! Think!" Steven complained.
"I tried thinking once, and then the computer started talking to me!" Nick reminded Steven.
"…since I was there when that happened…I believe you…" Steven agreed, remembering that although Nick's computer had been shut off and the television was off, the computer began talking to Nick and Steven for no reason. This scared both of them silly.
"Yeah…hey, what's Knuckles doing?" Nick asked, pointing to Knuckles leaving with a nurse's slip.
"What? How did you injure yourself this time?" Steven sighed.
"This math injures my brain…" Knuckles explained, before sulking off to the nurse's office for the third time today.
Shadow was amazed at Nick's typing speed. Nick wasn't very good at solving some of the more difficult problems…at least until he figured out a way around them without cheating. But Nick could type faster than Shadow could own Sonic with a flip of his hair! Sonic wasn't doing too good, however, as he couldn't even figure out how to make the computer program say 2 plus 2, let alone convert the metrics and fabric of time in a format to cut down minutes into seconds, or add hours unto the minutes while separating the two in case one should wish to be specific with the numbers. Amy and Rouge were doing an adequate job like Shadow himself, and Knuckles was actually doing pretty good…that is, until the teacher told him to stop trying to watch porno on Google images since a blue blocking screen pops up ("But I thought it was an advertisement…" Knuckles claimed.)
"Augh! I can't figure this out!" a new voice exclaimed. Looking over his monitor, Shadow saw a short, pudgy kid with blue jeans and a black sweatshirt on. He had black hair, black sunglasses, pale skin, and he seemed to be cursing under his breath…which explained why everyone sitting next to him was being turned into a broomstick. Another kid, almost as tall as Nick, walked up. This second kid had jet black hair, and he was wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt.
"Mike, are you still failing at life?" the teen sarcastically asked. Mike, the pudgy teen, looked at the tall guy angrily.
"Shut up, Neil…" Mike retorted. Neil, the tall guy, just walked back and sat down next to Knuckles, who now was trying to figure out how to successfully program a three-alarm fire that was once a computer. Of course, by "programming," we mean "grilling a cheese sandwich over the fire." And speaking of grilled cheese sandwiches…
The executives from BioWare were literally hopping up and down as they avoided having fangirls thrown at them from a giant robot. While the fangirls were being thrown at them, the security guards were laughing.
"Man, the Amy security protocol was GENIUS!" the first security guard complimented.
"Yeah, I doubt they'll get through that," the second security guard mentioned. Of course in the next instant, a certain half-eaten sandwich flew up and got lodged in the fangirl cannon. The BioWare executives RAN AS FAST AS THEY COULD into the next room...which looked exactly like the first one.
"Hey, what is this?" one of the executives complained.
"It's SEGA's defense systems!" the boss moaned. "We'll have to fight through all of them in order to get to the core of SEGA!"
"Well, those were fangirls, so we must have passed the Amy protocol..." another executive mentioned. The next security protocol came in the form of an EXACTLY IDENTICAL GIANT ROBOT WITH THE SAME TYPE OF CANNON AS BEFORE...except this time, instead of shooting fangirls, it shot bunnies with Darth Vader cloaks and tiny red lightsabers at the executives of BioWare.
"Well, there's the Anti-Bunnie protocol..." the second security guard noted.
"Where's she from?" the first guard asked.
"I think from the Archie Comics Adaption or something..." the first security guard replied.
Shadow sighed again as he sat down in his lunch seat. So far, the day had been moderately alright, not accounting for homeroom of course. Shadow at least felt somewhat sane as he saw Rouge sitting next to him, still acting with a brain around here. Of course, looking to his other side, Shadow saw Sonic and Knuckles both yelling at Amy, who was over-obseesively babbling about something assumedly Sonic-related. Nick was acting strangely quiet, eating his lunch as if someone was about to steal it. Of course, next to Nick was Justin, who wouldn't stop cracking jokes at Mike. Mike just swore constantly, Stephon sat down quiet, Alex kept looking back and forth nervously, and a girl with brown hair and glasses read a book quietly at the end of the table.
"Hey, Mike, have you heard?" Justin provoked. Mike just flared his eyes at him.
"...shut up..." Mike warned.
"Have you heard?" Justin continued.
"Shut up..." Mike whined.
"It was to my knowledge that everyone had heard," Justin wondered.
"Shut up!" Mike yelled.
"So, have you heard...the word?" Justin asked. Mike just screamed.
"FINE! WHAT'S THE GOD(big censor)ING WORD!" Mike yelled.
"Bird, bird, bird, bird is the word..." Justin began singing, making Mike slam his head off of the table constantly. Nick just turned to Justin.
"So, tomorrow's the day, huh?" Nick asked. Justin turned from annoying Mike, making Mike sigh in relief. Stephon handed Mike an ice cube for his bruised forehead.
"Yeah, our preorders arrive tomorrow!" Justin replied.
"Pre-orders of what?" Knuckles asked, bored with the Sonic-Amy fight. Of course, once he left, Amy was able to crawl under the table and do very explicit things to Sonic by simply grabbing his leg and dragging him under the table. But of course no one noticed.
"Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days! I've been waiting since it's first announcement to get the game! It's TOTALLY not going to be a game with an extremely sad ending that would provoke me to write a fanfiction about an alternate ending for it!" Nick foreshadowed, epically.
"What game has something as weird as 358/2 Days in it?" Knuckles asked.
"What game has something as weird as The Secret Rings in it?" Nick retaliated, shutting his mouth as soon as he realized his Kingdom Hearts fanboy side almost revealed...well, we don't have to spoil THAT yet...
"Huh, good point. That DOES sound like something weird for a game..." Knuckles agreed, not noticing Nick's instant shutting-up at that moment. At that second, a Sonic with a ripped shirt and various lipsticks marks over his body popped up from the table. Of course, Amy also came up, but she was fine. Amy lowered her eyes once, and Sonic began having something close to a heart attack. Of course, no one noticed again. Shadow began to fall asleep, before he realized something.
"Where the HELL is my lunch!" Shadow demanded. Rouge also spoke up too.
"Yeah, I've been waiting for 10 minutes! I doubt it'll take THAT long to make food as nutrious as fast food, with a taste of something you'd get from the garbage!" Rouge complained.
"Well, that's what you get for choosing our school's crappy cafeteria service!" Nick answered. Shadow felt like crying.
"I'm packing from now on," Rouge sighed. Not too much long afterwards, a bottlecap flew by Rouge's head, barely missing her.
"What was that?" Rouge asked, flustered.
"Sorry; my bottlecap powers are unrivaled," Justin apologized. Nick just slapped Justin upside the head.
"That is the fourth freaking bottlecap today! I will cut off your bottlecap supply if you keep this up!" Nick yelled.
"Hey, my mad skillz-!" Justin began.
"YOU HAVE NO MAD SKILLZ!" everyone screamed.
"Yes, I do," Justin disagreed. "I just can't control them."
Nick then took the next bottlecap Justin was about to grab. "Dude, I'm better at this than you. Watch."
Justin skeptically watched as Nick fired the fifth bottlecap, which bounced off of Mike's lunch tray and hit him in the face before landing back in Nick's hand.
"Owned. Bet the next thing that'll happen is the end of the world since I'm more awesome then you," Nick bragged. A sudden loud pop was heard, which shook the room. Nick immediately fell onto the table, grabbing his head.
"I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Nick screamed.
"Nick," Shadow began. "Some idiot just popped open a bag of chips over there," Shadow explained, pointing to some senior-year students who were laughing like idiots. Nick got up, eyes crossed.
"Oh..." Nick said stupidly. Just then, a tree fell outside onto a car in the parking lot and exploded. Everyone (except Nick) saw this and screamed loudly. Nick just chuckled.
"Come on, guys, you really think I'll fall for the same thing twice...idiots..." Nick chuckled, eyes shut as he DIDN'T NOTICE THE FLAMING ABOMINATION KNOWN PREVIOUSLY AS A TOTOYA HYBRID.
The executives of BioWare were panting as they entered another IDENTICAL ROOM WITH MR. GIANT GENERIC ROBOT WITH A GIANT CANNON.
"Oh, great! Now what!" the boss screamed. The security guards looked at the list of character and groaned.
"Oh, man. Anti-Knuckles...he's a hippie...this won't be fun at all-OOH LOOK WHAT WE GET TO FIRE!" the first security guard rambled.
"What? Hippies?" the second security guard asked. The first security guard pressed a button. At that moment all exits were sealed by a magical force. The cannon on the robot shot out a single object. The object spread wings, and the Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days adaption of 'Struggle Away/Fight For My Friends' begins playing. The creature in front screeched like a hawk.
"Holy crap, sir! A Dustflier!" one of the executives screamed. Everyone else just shrugged him off.
"Oh, come on. We're the kings of RPG's and so-called Ultimate Enemies," the boss bragged. "How could a Dustflier be so-WHY THE HELL DID MY AUTO-LIFE GO OFF!"
Everyone saw that their health bars were being refilled, signaling the only time they would be saved from death. Everyone gulped as they saw the Dustflier take off into the air.
"RUN!" one executive screamed. "HIS SHOCKWAVES ARE AS TALL AS TIDAL WAVES!"
Everyone scrambled like idiots. They were going to have their asses handed to them on a silver platter...but this story isn't about them, so we leave them along for the final time this chapter and go over to Nick and the gang for their last couple of hours in high school.
"OH, THANK SWEET GOD!" the boss complimented. Unfortunately for the boss man, the Dustflier hit him with a simple landing shockwave, taking out 99.999999999 percent of his HP.
"...crap," was all the boss could utter before he got rickrolled by a Shadow Heartless.
Nick and otherworldly friends were now in Global I, or Social Studies, as Nick was prone to calling it from previous years. In the classroom other than the usual was Justin, along with a kid a few inches taller than Justin. This new kid had matted-down blonde hair and freckles, and he seemed to be chattering on-and-on about something with a kid sitting next to him.
"Yeah, talk about generic opening text, right?" the new kid said to his friend. Justin then spoke up.
"Shut up, Butters," Justin sighed.
"My name is Matt, idiot. Besides, only my friends are entitled to calling me Butters," Matt contradicted.
"Shut up, Butters," Nick sighed.
"Why don't you shut up?" Matt retorted. Shadow clapped his hands half-heartedly.
"Good comeback, Butters," Shadow said sarcastically.
"Shut up, emo boy," Matt insulted. Shadow then accidentally kicked Matt in the back of the head. Of course, Matt didn't feel the kick to the head because his inflated ego took the force of the hit. Shadow kept sitting angrily, but Nick found a way to even the odds.
"Hey, Matt, want some pie?" Nick asked. Matt took the pie and examined it carefully while Shadow, Sonic, Justin, and everyone else constructed a bunker out of glue, construction paper, and the chairs everyone was using. As usual, Sonic also glued Amy to the exterior to use her as defense. Of course, Amy was sleeping from her little 'encounter' with Sonic during Lunch, but that wasn't important.
"What kind of pie is it?" Matt asked.
"What kind do you hate?" Nick retorted.
"Fine, I'll taste it myself and see!" Matt replied, preparing to eat the pie.
Far away in Gym, Steven, Sean, and Neil were all shooting hoops when they saw a familiar giant laser narrowly miss them and blow a hole to the outside. They all looked at each other.
"Nick..." they all said in unison, before continuing to shoot hoops.
Matt was charred black, the pie looked messed up, and Dr. Octangonapus was escaping through the hole he created in the side of the wall. Fortunately, the flimsy shelter mentioned before someone held, and everyone walked out, fine.
"Nick, seriously, stop trying to kill us," Justin asked.
Study Hall was mainly quiet for most of the characters. Nick kept himself quiet, seeming to read over the school code of conduct in the front of his agenda out of boredom...or something. Amy was trying to 'study' Sonic, so you can imagine that Sonic would be trying to dig his way through the ceiling to escape Amy. It didn't work. Shadow and Rouge were being usually their quiet, awesome selves, sitting over in two chairs, watching the chaos of Sonic and Amy as everyone else in the room pointed and laughed. Knuckles himself thought he was an animal again, except this time he was eating the tiles of the floor, mooing like a cow while doing so. It was hard to see which was more embarrassing: Sonic's fear of Amy, Knuckles's stupidity, or Amy's overobession of what was once a blue-tinted hedgehog.
"Hmm...wonder how long it will take before anyone catches on to the true story of these guys..." Nick muttered quietly, having situated himself away from everyone else for the time being. "...I wonder if I can finally get Gold for Alf Layla Wa Layla later too...I'll have to come up with an excuse to get away from these guys, though..."
The final class of the day. Biology Class. In just five minutes of entering the room, Knuckles was already being sent to the nurse with chemical burns on his body. Sonic and Amy were separated from each other, which the teacher claimed was 'bad chemistry' from plain sight. This teacher instantly became Sonic's favorite, but Shadow rained on Sonic's parade by reminding him that Amy was his math tutor still. Rouge, unfortunately, sat next to one of the rowdier kids in the school (whose name will be altered since I did that with EVERYONE'S names in this fic): Joey. Joey had black hair that looked like a quaff, and he had the stereotypical chains and black clothing like a typical gangster-type kid. Rouge kept herself quiet, but she felt exposed since half the time Joey was either trying to eye her breasts or text on his cell phone. Shadow noticed Rouge's discomfort, and immdiately noted down the kid mentally as a troublemaker. This created another 'EPIC FORESHADOWING' to appear, which accidentally hit Sonic in the head as it appeared.
"Hey, what about the epic foreshadowing in Chapter 2 with Shadow's perfect golf game?" Sonic randomly asked. Sonic was hit with a broomstick for no reason as the lesson started. Of course, as soon as the lesson started, Knuckles fell through the ceiling, claiming he thought the nurse's office was down below a floor and he didn't want to walk. Nick did a facepalm.
"Wow, please I hope school ends soon..." Nick muttered. Since this fic has been delayed for too long, school did end and everyone headed home on the bus.
"So, Steven? How was your day?" Nick asked.
"Eh, same old, same old. New twist with the new friends of yours, though," Steven noted. Nick turned around and saw Sonic plastered to the ceiling as Amy clung to his arm like a leech. Shadow and Rouge were making out in the bus seat, with a very angry (and very injured) Knuckles watching.
"Yeah, definite new twist," Nick uttered, worried about if anyone will recognize them soon enough. The bus drove off, passing a grove of trees that cut off the camera's view.
New Characters Introduced
- The random appearance of 2 different Nick's (as well as the seemingly random third Nick that appeared) could be a reference to later events in SRC where Nick does come across his own evil doppelganger.
- The chapter's title itself is a parody of The World That Never Was from Kingdom Hearts II.